Jokes Various 3 Besucher/Visitors

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various ... to be continued (#3 to match the numbering of the equivalent German page and sorry, I have not translated all!) 

25 true indicators that you become an adult:

1.      All your plants at home are alive and you cannot smoke one of it.

2.      Sex in a small bed is out of discussion.

3.      You got more food than beer in the fridge.

4.      You get up at 06:00h instead of going to bed.

5.      You hear your favourite song in the elevator.

6.      You pay attention to the weather forecast.

7.      Your friends get married and divorced – instead of having an affair and getting rid. 

8.      You got less than 130 holidays.

9.      Jeans and pullover don’t really match any longer being “fully dressed up”.

10. You call for the police because these %&@# kids don’t turn the music volume down.

11. Older relatives no longer stop telling disgusting jokes when you are around.

12. You don’t know when McDonalds closes.

13. Your car insurance goes down, your monthly car rates go up.

14. You feed your dog with dog food – and not with the rest of the last Pizza or McDonalds.

15. Sleeping on the couch causes back pain.

16. You are fancying a small nip of sleep in the afternoon.

17. Having dinner and going to cinema is the complete appointment, not just the start.

18. Eating fried stuff at 03:00h in the morning would cause stomach problems instead of solving them.

19. You by Aspirin and foot scrub in the pharmacy instead of condoms and tests for pregnancy.

20. A bottle of wine for EUR 2,99 is no longer “a pretty good stuff”.

21. You eat breakfast stuff for breakfast.

22. “I cannot drink any longer as in the past” replaces “I never will drink again that much”.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of the PC is because of labour.

24. You don’t start drinking at home before you leave in order to save money. 

25. You congratulate when you hear that one of the people you know got pregnant instead of asking “Ops, how did this happen?”


26: You read the complete text and are desperately looking for an indicator that this does NOT apply for you – but you fail. So finally you copy the text and send it as an Email to all your good old friends because you know that they will feel the same.



Doctor to the nun: "There is no doubt, you are pregnant!" 

Nun to the doctor: "It’s disgusting what people smear onto candles."


I would like to die like my Grandpa: asleep.

And not like his co-driver: crying!


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Stand: 24. September 2010